


say you'll share with me / one love, one lifetime

by milkywei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Non-Explicit Sex, Ushijima and Moniwa are Mobile Suit Pilots, gundam au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:20:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23890732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkywei/pseuds/milkywei
Summary: They have been soldiers for as long as they can remember but in a few hours, they will finally be free from fighting a war that has taken so much from them.In the hours leading to one of the most important missions of their lives, Moniwa and Ushijima steal an intimate moment to hide away in the warmth of each other's embrace. Ushijima tells Moniwa about the life that he has planned for the both of them after the war is over, and it is all that Moniwa has ever wanted and more.
Relationships: Moniwa Kaname/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	say you'll share with me / one love, one lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> Hover for content warning (Spoiler!)
> 
> SYMBOLS: [ **☄** ] happening in the present | [ **↫** ] flashback sequence
> 
> this work is part of [HQ Rare Pair Week 2020](https://twitter.com/HQRareWeek2020)!
> 
>  **day 2** operation | space | ~~time travel!AU~~

☄ ☄ ☄

Moniwa does not think that he would ever get tired of the view from the battleship’s viewing deck. Despite growing up in a space colony, he never really got the chance to see the galaxy in all of its vastness. Technology has improved so significantly that projections of a clear blue Earth atmosphere can make people forget that they are living in the voidness of space. There is just something about staring into the blackness that is scary to some people.

But Moniwa loves it.

He loves how he can see the stars twinkle lightyears away and if he is lucky, he might even spot the tail of a stray comet. He loves that there are different shades of space, how the void is not just black but also many other colours.

In a few hours, he will be able to see the colours up close in his mobile suit.

“I thought I would find you here,” a voice says, snapping him out from his thoughts.

Moniwa turns to see Ushijima standing at the threshold. The ace pilot has the top of his purple jumpsuit tied around his waist, leaving him in his black undershirt and exposing his strong arms. He probably has been at the hangar, working on his mobile suit for their upcoming mission.

 _Operation: Endgame_ is the most dangerous mission that they will ever embark on in their military career. It has the potential to end the war between the Aviary Alliance and SEIJOH once and for all. Everyone on the battleship is on edge as the hours count down to when it is time for all hands to report to their battle stations for the most important mission of their lives.

But until then, they capture the semblances of moments of what could be their last.

Ushijima walks over to Moniwa, placing his palms on the railing as he stands beside him. Moniwa has been on many missions with Ushijima and he can tell when the other is nervous. The ace pilot is one of the most important people in this operation. He is tasked with taking down SEIJOH’s stronghold, which is the control center for all of SEIJOH’s operations. It will be heavily guarded and Ushijima is the only one with the ability to break through its defenses and destroy it. He is perfectly synchronised with his mobile suit, the White Eagle, and his accomplishments have earned him the well-deserved title of ‘Ace pilot’.

Meanwhile, Moniwa will be lending him assistance to push back SEIJOH’s defences and stop them from firing their dangerous super weapon. He may not be anywhere close to Ushijima in piloting skills, but he would say that he is still a formidable force with his mobile suit, the Iron Dragon.

“It will all be over — all of this — in a few hours,” Ushijima mutters.

“Yes it will,” Moniwa echoes.

Ushijima’s hand envelopes his own and Moniwa sighs, letting out a breath he did not know that he has been holding in. He turns towards Ushijima and seeks his warmth, their joined hands in between them as Moniwa rests his head on Ushijima’s shoulder. A hand moves up his back, securing him in a protective embrace. When he feels Ushijima press his cheek onto the unruly curls of his hair, he is comforted by the fact that Ushijima needs this as much as he does.

↫ ↫ ↫

He had not known when exactly the ace pilot became so dear to him. 

They were drafted in the military together in their teens and trained to be mobile suit pilots in the same facility. Ushijima of course excelled in his training and was chosen to be part of the elite Shiratorizawa team, which was made up of the best mobile suit pilots. Moniwa was selected for the Dateko squad, which specialised in defense and gathering intelligence. They crossed paths again at the height of the war when the Aviary Alliance was first formed, both their battleships docked at the same military base on Earth. He was surprised when Ushijima had approached him first, complimenting him on how his piloting skills have improved. Later, they would work even closer together as the frequency of their joint missions increased. Kamasaki had pointed out how strange it was that Moniwa was able to talk to Ushijima so casually. “You’re always so scared to talk to people who are bigger than you! Remember when we had to work with each other the first time?” Kamasaki had said.

Moniwa remembered it all too well. He stood in between Kamasaki and Aone during their line-up, feeling very small in between two intimidating towers. He was shaking like a leaf when Aone all but gave him a look and nearly dropped his helmet when Kamasaki asked if he was okay.

“But I’m all good now, aren’t I? If only I had known what big squabbling babies all of you are, I would not have been so intimidated,” Moniwa chuckled.

Kamasaki argued then, whining that most of the cock-ups during their missions were caused by that brat Futakuchi. Moniwa laughed as he chided him, saying that Futakuchi was still so young and as a senior recruit he should at least set a better example. Kamasaki was red in the face as he muttered about how Moniwa sounded just like a mother.

A week later, Moniwa broke down in Ushijima’s arms as he held onto Kamasaki’s military uniform. They were ambushed during a mission and Kamasaki along with half of the Dateko squad did not return. The Dateko squad was immediately dissolved and its remaining pilots were taken in by different units in the Alliance. Only Moniwa went to Shiratorizawa, where his recon and tactical skills were highly lauded by Admiral Washijo Tanji.

For a period of time, Moniwa was only a husk of what he used to be. He would only leave his room for meals, briefings and missions. He would never talk to anyone unless he was talked to and his smile barely reached his eyes. He knew most of the time, he would only be approached out of pity. ‘ _Half of his squad was killed by SEIJOH and he’s separated from the rest of his members. I would just wait to die on the battlefield too.’_

Moniwa ignored the worrying looks Ushijima would cast to him when they were in the same room or walking past one another. They never talked after Moniwa had cried his heart out into Ushijima’s chest after returning from his last mission with the Dateko squad. Ushijima did not approach him too, giving him the space he needed to grief.

Until Moniwa nearly died during a skirmish with SEIJOH. 

Ushijima thought that his heart had stopped when he saw the Bishop, piloted by SEIJOH’s Hanamaki Takahiro, plunge its beam sword so close to the cockpit of Moniwa’s mobile suit. Ushijima had engaged full thrusters, reaching just in time to stop Hanamaki from finishing the job by inflicting severe damage to the Bishop.

Moniwa was recovered by Ushijima and brought back to the Shiratorizawa battleship. Thankfully, he only escaped with a few cuts and burns but Ushijima was so overcome with anger that he had grabbed Moniwa by his pilot suit in the briefing room and yelled, “Did you want to join your fallen comrades so badly?!”

Moniwa’s eyes widened in shock at Ushijima’s accusation, pressed against the wall as the ace pilot’s olive eyes glared down at him. Ushijima was not only frustrated by how careless Moniwa had been, he had also been _scared_. He was so scared at the thought of never seeing Moniwa again and that thought alone had nearly made him lose control – he would have completely destroyed the Bishop if he thought that Moniwa was dead.

“I- I’m sorry,” Moniwa replied, tears streaming down his empty onyx eyes. He knew that Ushijima had vowed to himself that he would not kill and he nearly broke his vow because he thought Moniwa had died. There was nothing else that Moniwa could say to express his regret and Ushijima knew.

He brought his hands up to cup Moniwa’s face, swiping his thumbs across the grieving pilot’s cheeks to brush away his tears. Moniwa held in his breath when Ushijima pressed his lips against his, but he softly exhaled when the ace pilot continued to place multiple gentle kisses on his lips. Ushijima captured his bottom lip in between his teeth and Moniwa wrapped his arms around the ace pilot’s neck as the kiss deepened. Moniwa was tired from crying and his chest hurt so badly but he kissed Ushijima with all that he had. When they pulled away slightly to catch their breaths, Moniwa saw how Ushijima’s olive pupils were blown and how his cheeks were flushed red. Moniwa let him kiss his lips again and again and again.

“Don’t scare me like that ever again, Kaname,” Ushijima had murmured to his lips in between kisses.

Moniwa never thought that the sound of his own name from Ushijima’s lips could make his aching heart flutter.

☄ ☄ ☄

“Kaname,” Ushijima murmurs, pressing his lips onto Moniwa’s shoulder as he snaps his hips forward, pulling out a strangled moan from Moniwa’s throat. “Kaname, I love you.”

Ushijima’s sudden confession has Moniwa feeling so _full_ and he groans as he curls his fingers in the ace pilot’s hair, pulling him into a searing kiss. They have always taken their time to touch, feel and indulge but at this moment, time is a privilege that they do not have. Moniwa’s toes curl as Ushijima quickens his pace and he feels the familiar tension tightening in his stomach from the fingers enveloped around him.

Moniwa lets out a sob into Ushijima’s mouth as he reaches his limit, shaking sensitively when fingers stroke him to completion. He gets flipped onto his stomach, his face pressed against the sheets as Ushijima places his hands on his hips and fills him up again. There is no particular rhythm to his movements as he chases his own release and Moniwa fists the plain white sheets, delirious from overstimulation. Eventually, Ushijima lets out a groan when his hips stutter and he plasters himself onto Moniwa’s back, nuzzling into the smaller man’s nape.

Moniwa chuckles as he cranes his neck and turns his head to the side, bringing his hand to cup Ushijima’s chin so that their lips can properly meet.

He can feel Ushijima’s necklace press against his back, the round shape of a ring probably leaving an indent on his skin. Moniwa has a similar ring on his finger, a thin silver band which he wears on the fourth finger of his left hand. Ushijima had gifted it to him unassumingly, after weeks of awkward interaction since their first kiss. He wondered how Ushijima made his decision so fast when Moniwa could barely recognise the person staring back at him in the mirror.

“My decision is always and in all ways — you,” Ushijima had told him as they sat side by side, watching the sunset on Earth from the deck of the Shiratorizawa battleship. “The person that you were, the person that you are and the person that you will be.”

“What are you thinking about?” Ushijima’s deep voice rumbles in his ear, snapping Moniwa out of his thoughts.

“Just remembering that day when you somewhat proposed to me,” Moniwa replies with a chuckle.

Ushijima frowns. “That was not a proposal. It was more of a declaration.”

“Of your intentions?” Moniwa asks, raising an eyebrow. “Have you been asking love advice from the Admiral?”

“I do not think that Admiral Washijo would approve of what we just did,” Ushijima replies, shifting himself so that they can talk more comfortably. Moniwa snuggles into his chest as Ushijima keeps his arm around his smaller frame.

“Shiratorizawa’s ace pilot gets himself swept away by the whirlwind of romance. How scandalous,” Moniwa snickers.

He receives a look from said ace pilot but Moniwa has long been immune to his intimidation so he only laughs and kisses the frown on Ushijima’s face. Ushijima kisses him back languidly, making the most of the short moment they have together. 

“You said those words earlier,” Moniwa whispers against his lips.

Ushijima seems to know which ones without Moniwa having to say them. “I meant what I said,” he replies, thumbing the silver band on Moniwa’s finger. “I understand if it is too soon for you-”

“I love you too, Wakatoshi,” Moniwa confesses, committing to memory the way Ushijima’s olive eyes soften as he stares at Moniwa.

“You do not have to say it back if you’re not ready,” Ushijima tells him but Moniwa shakes his head with a smile.

“If I don’t tell you now, you might never know how I really feel about you,” Moniwa says, cupping Ushijima’s face with his left hand. The ace pilot presses his forehead against his in response.

It is way too easy to forget that they are hours away from putting their lives at risk to put an end to the war that has taken so many of their friends and family.

“In a few hours, this war will be over,” the ace pilot says, his voice unwavering. “I’m going to come back to you so you can tell me those words again later.”

Moniwa has no doubt that Ushijima will be able to see the end of this war. He has fought so hard and he will continue fighting until the world is at peace. It is not his failure to return that Moniwa is thinking about.

“Tell me, my dear,” Moniwa softly requests of him. “Will you go back to growing flowers in your garden back home when the war is over?”

Ushijima catches his wrist with his hand, thumbing his pulse point to feel his heartbeat. “You talk about my future as if you are not going to be in it,” he mutters.

Moniwa chuckles bitterly, realising too late that he can never hide anything from Ushijima. He pulls away from the other body’s warmth and sits up on the bed, facing away from Ushijima. “Anything can happen when we’re out there,” Moniwa says. “War doesn’t discriminate on who to take with it.”

Ushijima’s eyebrows are knitted as he sits up as well. “But you are an exceptional pilot, Kaname. You will come back too,” the ace pilot insists.

Strong arms wrap around him from behind and it takes everything in Moniwa to not break down there and then. Ushijima presses gentle kisses on his shoulder, letting his lips linger at where red marks have blossomed on peach skin. Moniwa sighs, leaning back against Ushijima as the latter continues his ministrations.

“When the war is over, I will propose to you properly,” Ushijima whispers to his skin. “We will live in my parents’ old house on Earth, the one with the loveliest garden where we can grow all the flowers that we want. We will fit a piano in the living room so you can always play when you feel like it. I will fix the heating so that we do not get cold during the winter and on summer nights, I will bring you to the field to look at the dark sky which you love so much.”

“We never have to pilot our mobile suits ever again and we will always remember our friends and family through the life we live every single day.”

And Moniwa’s heart breaks because he wants all of that. He wants to rebuild the home the war had taken away from him with Ushijima and bring flowers to Kamasaki and his fallen Dateko squad members’ memorial even after the war is long over. He wants to be able to wake up next to Ushijima and feel the relief in his chest because they no longer have to fight in the war anymore. 

He wants to live.

↫ ↫ ↫

“Lieutenant Moniwa,” Admiral Washijo started after everyone else had left the briefing room. “The Council has come to an agreement that you are the only person suitable for this part of _Operation: Endgame_.”

The Admiral had requested Moniwa to stay after the briefing for _Operation: Endgame_ was over to discuss a special assignment. The briefing was simple anyway. They were to provide support for Ushijima so that he could infiltrate the SEIJOH stronghold and destroy it. They also had to be weary of Oikawa Tooru and his team. Ushijima might have severely damaged one of the mobile suits, but Oikawa Tooru still had two other skilled pilots in his team. Reon and Tendou would engage with Iwaizumi Hajime’s Knight and Matsukawa Issei’s Rook respectively, leaving Ushijima to deal with Oikawa’s deadly mobile suit, the King. Meanwhile, the rest of the team would be pushing back the army of Zakus which SEIJOH would also deploy.

“Your task is an important one, Lieutenant Moniwa,” the Admiral told him. “You are to destroy SEIJOH’s superweapon.”

“Your recon skills are the best in the team, thus it is seen that you are the most suitable for this task. Our data has shown that the SEIJOH superweapon is virtually indestructible from the outside. However, we found that the only way to stop it is from the inside. You will follow Lieutenant Commander Semi’s unit and when the enemy mobile suits are engaged, you will sneak in and plant explosives in the identified weak spots of the SEIJOH superweapon. You must do all you can to ensure that the weapon is destroyed before they can use it again.”

The Admiral did not directly state the nature of this assignment but Moniwa already knew.

“This is a suicide mission,” Moniwa calmly pointed out.

“It is the only way we can stop that superweapon. If we allow SEIJOH to use it again, we would lose so many innocent lives. Lieutenant Moniwa, you do understand how important this assignment is, don’t you?”

Moniwa did. This mission was crucial to ensure that they could effectively end the war.

This mission was important to make sure that Ushijima never had to wield a sword and fight in a war ever again.

“This assignment is top secret and nobody else should be made known about it,” Admiral Washijo said, looking at him with unsympathetic eyes. “Do you understand your assignment, Lieutenant Moniwa?”

“Understood, Admiral.”

☄ ☄ ☄

He wonders what happens to bodies in space when their souls leave them. Do they simply become space debris or do they disintegrate and dissolve into the void?

Moniwa hopes he can be a star to look over Ushijima. The latter has always been looking out for him and the best thing he can do is repay the favour.

“You're stuck in your head again,” Ushijima whispers to him, so vulnerable that it breaks Moniwa’s heart.

He captures Ushijima’s lips in a desperate kiss, wishing that he can stay in this moment for a while longer. Ushijima kisses him back with just as much fervour, trying his best to convince Moniwa that they will both make it out of this alive. “I love you, Kaname,” Ushijima murmurs in between kisses. “We are going to see the end of this war and we will start our new life together.”

He lets the tears run down his cheeks as Ushijima lays the both of them down on the bed again, his hands roaming all over Moniwa’s trembling body.

He gasps when he feels himself being filled again, immediately wrapping his arms and legs around Ushijima to bring him closer. His lover whispers more promises of together into his ear as he whimpers at each thrust, bringing him even closer to the edge. Moniwa searches for Ushijima’s lips again, dragging him into an open-mouthed kiss while he grows even needier. Ushijima is starting to get out of rhythm again, focusing more on a quick pace, and Moniwa keens when he hits the spot that sends him seeing stars.

They both reach their climax together and this time Ushijima seems to have reached his limit as he drops himself on top of Moniwa, not minding the stickiness of their sweaty bodies. He hears Ushijima’s laboured breathing even out and Moniwa runs his fingers in his lover’s hair, pressing a kiss to Ushijima’s ear.

“I love you, Wakatoshi,” Moniwa whispers.

_I’m sorry I cannot be part of your wonderful future._

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from the phantom of the opera's all i ask
> 
> i... did not expect this fic to take this turn. i'm so sorry ; - ; i completely nerded out with this AU because gundam seed was literally my first ever anime that i watched. i hope it's still understandable even if you know nothing about it ;;;; i tried out a new writing style too and although it could use way more context, i'm quite glad with how it turned out!
> 
> hit me up on twitter @miyaagiboys if you wanna chat! i promise i won't bite (*ﾉωﾉ)


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